|
|
| European Championship Qualifiers |
| Scotland |
6 |
0 |
Faroe Islands |
| Boyd(2) |
|
|
|
| Fletcher |
|
|
|
| McFadden |
|
|
|
| Miller |
|
|
|
| O'Connor |
|
|
|
| Lithuania |
1 |
2 |
Scotland |
| |
|
|
Dailly |
| |
|
|
Miller |
If ye ask me, there’s definitely sumthin funny goin’ oan.
Eight goals in two games, two wins in a row and unbeaten in wur last seven games away fae home? That’s no the kind o’ Scotland form wur all used tae.
Thurs skulduggery afoot or ma name’s no Paw Aloysius Ebeneezer Hilary Broon.
Ah strongly suspect that Walter Smith huz discovered a new performance-enhancing steroid that isnae detectable in urine samples. Ah certainly cannae think o’ any other explanation.
No that ah’m complainin’, mind. See, leadin’ the field and bein’ 5 points ahead o’ Italy after two games is EXACTLY the start ah predicted tae this group.
Aye it bloody well is!
If ye think ah’m lyin’, then ah wid respectfully refer ye tae the opening paragraphs in ma February 2006 Diary entry which read as follows;
“See aw these doom and gloom merchants that huv been wringin thur hands and moanin oan since the draw wis made aboot how we’ve nae chance and that we’ll be lucky tae finish fourth?
Well ah’m no one ay thum.
Ah think it’s a pish easy group and we’ll definitely come top.”
See me? See brilliant? So, much as ah hate tae blow ma ain trumpet (ah leave that sort o’ sexual gymnastics tae ma burds) ye can just bloody well add “astonishing all-seeing clairvoyant” tae the ever-increasin’ list of talents in ma quite remarkable CV that awready includes “sex God”, “Fitba Manager extraordinaire” and “Marbles Maestro”. Ah’ll beat any basturd at marbles so ah will.
Anyway, ah digress, although understandably so under the circumcisions.
So, there we are sittin’ proudly atop the Group table. “The Group of Death” is whit thur calling it. Seems like a tiny wee bit of overkill tae ma mind, though.
“The Group of Lots Of Very Difficult and Close Games whose Outcome is Uncertain” wid be a mair sensible and far less hysterical title if ye ask me, but ah suppose it’s no dramatic enuff fer the media so “Group of Death” it’ll huv tae be.
Puttin’ things intae sum kind o’ perspective though, beatin’ the Hearts B team (otherwise known as Lithuania) and a collection ay puffin-eating cliff dwellers fae a bunch of rocks near Iceland is one thing, but ah somehow think that next month’s game against yon Terry Horny and his snail-munchin’ buddies will provide a slightly stiffer examination and truer indication of just how far Scotland have come under Uncle Walter’s guidance.
Still, thank the Lord that yon big Zebedee Zidoon fella huz decided tae hang up his boots.
He wis just a wee bit guid, although in fairness ye wid huv tae say that in a heid-butting contest the Scots wid mair than likely prevail ower 90 minutes.
Even withoot the steroids.
Or, indeed, Duncan Ferguson.
