International Friendly
Scotland	1	1	New Zealand
Crawford

Ah huv never liked New Zealand. Tae be honest, ah wisnae even a fan o' the Old Zealand.

They can stick their lamb and butter up their arses as far as ah'm concerned. And, see that stupid Haka dance thurr rugby players dae? That's the actions o' a seriously deranged people if ye ask me.

They shag sheep an aw. And drive 1960's Morris Minors. No always at the same time admittedly.

And thurr national burd rhymes wi' wee-wee. Ah mean fuckssake, how can ye take a country like that seriously, eh?

Credit where credit's due though, and speakin o' New Zealand's national burds, ah wid gie that Rachel Hunter one, nae danger, even knowing that Rod and Robbie huv been there.

Still, enough wi' the Sociology and back tae the fitba.

This wis an unmitigated success. Phase Two of Berti's cunning "Let's get the Scottish public used tae seeing us play utter shite against teams in white shirts and black shorts" plan worked like a dream.

Next up in the white and black is Germany, the big one, the real thing, and after this pile o' keech, and the Austrian uber-keech afore that, it's a game that naebody in their right minds expects Scotland tae get a point from, never mind win.

Ergo, all the pressure's off! Clever stuff, eh? Football psychology at its very best.

The Gerrie's will be thinking they'll huv it easy and just huv tae turn up at Hampden tae trounce us.

It's called lulling the opposition intae a true sense of security.