|
|
| European
Championship Qualifiers |
| Scotland |
2 |
1 |
Iceland |
| Miller |
|
|
|
| Wilkie |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
| Lithuania |
1 |
0 |
Scotland |
| |
|
|
|
Just when it looks like things are finally startin'
tae go Scotland's way wi' a nice, but uninspiring wee win against
the ice tubes, along comes Fritz Stuchlik. Fritz Stuchlik -
say it with a snarl and mark it well. For it is a name whit
must hereafter go doon in infamy, like that of his fellow Austrian,
Adolf Hitler.
No content wi' scuppering
Scotland's bid tae host the 2008 European Championship Finals
by winning it for themselves, Austria are noo daein all they
can tae ensure oor presence isnae required in Portugal 2004
either, by sending oot tae officiate at the Lithuania match
a referee whose eyesight makes Stevie Wonder's seem like 20/20
vision.
The basturd should hae had a guide-dug runnin
aboot the pitch wi' him.
In a stuffy game that always looked like one goal
would settle it, Fritz the Twat was the difference between the
two sides. Denying Scotland a 7th minute stonewall penalty,
failing tae book the Lithuanians for whit wiz frankly the finest
team diving display ever witnessed ootside an Olympic swimming
pool and then, tae cap it all, awarding the home side a penalty
for a blatant swan dive that even a swan would hae been fuckin'
embarrassed tae claim.
When asked by wee Jackie Mac why he'd given a penalty
for this Oscar-winning performance from the naughty Lith, Fritz
replied simply, "Because I heard something."
Honest tae God. Because he fuckin heard sumthin!!!!!!!
Not, "because it was a foul", not "because you
blatantly tripped him", but because he "heard something".
Fuckssake.
The bugger's not only blind, he's got hearing problems
too.
It wouldnae surprise me tae learn that Ronnie Biggs
wiz playing fer Lithuania because frankly this wiz the biggest
piece o' robbery since the Great Train job.
Berti wisnae happy.
"I'm not happy, Paw" he telt me. "I
feel cheated, ja? In fact, after zis, I am understanding now
how you came up with your famous catchphrase when you were Scotland
Manager."
"Och Shite?"
"Ja, that's the one, Paw. It is very appropriate
in zese kind of instances, ja?"
"Well, fuck off and find yer ain catchphrase,
ye're no havin' mine" ah telt him.
"Och shite!" he says.
That's Berti's trouble. Nae fresh ideas tae speak
of.
