"See that Euro 2000?

It wiz fair brilliant, wiz it no? Course, as heid coach of Scotland, ah get tae go and watch a' the games fer free wi' all the other fatcats frae YOU AYFA or whitever it's called.

All expenses paid an' all. Magic.

Mind you, it wiz a wee mistake taking the new bird wi' us. Noo the papers are full ae it, just cos she's 23 and ah'm 60 odds. The age thing disnae bother me, no' a bit.

But see what really gets ma dander up is that just cos ye're famous ye cannae play aroond a bit like normal folks wi'out it becoming some big scandal. It's no fair.

Anyways, ah jist keep ma mooth shut aboot it and concentrate on the football. Mind, at least ah didnae get half the flak that wee numpty Keegan got when he got home. Vicious bampots, the English press, an' no mistake.

Fair do's though, England in all fairness were shite.

It wiz braw seeing a team in blue lift the championship, even if it wisnae us. Ah wish yon laddie Zidane wiz Scottish. Ah'll maybe get the boys at the SFA tae see if there's any frogs oot there wi a Scottish Grandparent or something.

Ah'm fair looking forward tae the World Cup qualifiers noo, starting wi Latvia in September. Cheap voddie and the burdz are wee stoaters, so they are! Ah cannae wait. Ah jist love playing away frae home."

Paw Broon