This wiz character buildin' stuff and nae mistake.

Wi' the usual 57 call-offs from the original squad o' 22, there wiz lads oot there ah hardly recognised.

Ah mean, look at young Barry Nicholson. Played magic. But how desperate dae ye huv tae be tae pick a Dunfermline player fer Scotland?

And no jist him, but Stevie Crawford too. That's two Dunfy players in the wan team!!!!!

Jings! Pre-kick off ah wiz shitin' masel. These Polies are nae mugs, even if they dae hav names ye canny pronounce. Ah mean whit sortay language is it that puts the letters wdz together, eh? That's jist takin' the piss.

Mind, they dae make braw vodka. Ah got fair blootered on it after the game wi a few of the lads.

Nae wonder ma heid's nipping.

I'm away fer a wee lie down before ah boak all ower the keyboard.

And see that Polish sausage? It's shite.