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  December 2001
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 

 

Me and the burd hud a braw Hogmanay up at the wee But' n' Ben.

No half. Woof Woof!

Ah'm fair puggled, so I am, but noo it's time fer serious business.

I huv tae report that there's bugger-all happening until we take oan the Belgies in March, but in the meantime, as heid bummer o' the Scotland team, it's ma duty tae go oan as many freebie trips as possible and get paid fer it.

Magic.

And see, "bigshot lawyer brother Jock" thought he wiz the brains ae the family? "Daft opinionated shite." How's that for a commentary ya pretentious unemployed ex-pundit-cum-failed director-arse?

And by the way. It wiz me that told Dad where yer wankmags were hidden. But, it's no like ah hold a grudge or anything.

"Bring oan the Belgies!"

They were a bit dodgy in World War One and they're still a bit iffy now, it huz tae be said.

My approach tae the forthcoming game is simple. I will select 11 out of the 14 partially-fit players who are still available to me after the usual call-offs and injuries have reduced my squad from 22 on the day of the game.

We will defend like demons.

Mattie Elliot will get sent off, nae danger.

I will tell the players to knock the ball forward as often as possible in the hope that a Belgian defender slips and a lone Scot is remotely nearby to take advantage.

Put yer money on 0-0. But don't say ah told you so. That sort ae thing can get heavy according to Bruce Grobbelar an' his mates.

Paw Broon

 

S