Jings, crivvens and michty me, whit a year it's been. It's a sair fecht bein' the Heid Coach o' Scotland, man, ah'm telling ye.

Wan day ye're gubbing the English at Wembalee an next ye're aff tae Japan tae see the draw fer whae's knocking us ootay the next toornie.

Mind, I had a braw wee break at the But'n'Ben wi' Maw ower Hogmanay. Stocious, so ah wuz. Back tae work noo though.

Ah've been right busy compiling ma comprehensive dossier oan oor World Cup opponents;

Belgium	The beer's awfy, awfy strong. Ah cannae mind much aboot the game ah watched ower there.
Latvia	Vodka's dirt cheap. Ah cannae mind much aboot that game either. I think they wore white strips.
Croatia	This mob are aye fighting amongst themsel's, so ah think there's a wee weakness there. Buggered if ah know how tae exploit it mind.
San Marino	Oor old pals frae the mountain are improving all the time and cannae be dismissed even though they're shite. No by Scotland anyway. They've just bought a new set of tops and their stadium has recently undergone a 2 million lire toilet seat refit.

Ah cannae recall if there's onybody else we've tae play. Ma heid wiz flyin' frae a' that Sake stuff ah was neckin' doon at the draw so ah wisnae really listening. These are exciting times for the Tartan Army. Ah'll see youse all in Duty Free. Here we go, here we go, here we go..........

Paw Broon